Rethinking Adulthood: It’s Not a Destination, It’s a Climb

We often talk about adulthood as a final stop. As if one day, we “arrive” and everything finally makes sense. Bills paid. Emotions managed. Dreams achieved. But what if that idea is holding us back?

Dr. Gretchen Schmelzer put it beautifully when she said:      

"What if we stopped thinking of adulthood as a safe house to live in and more as fixed ropes to climb with?"

From Stuckness to Flexibility

We talk a lot about stuckness at Revolve Recovery. The feeling that despite effort, therapy, insight, or new strategies, things aren’t changing. You keep trying, but you still feel like you're circling the same emotional block.

This idea of adulthood as a climb rather than a landing place offers another lens. Instead of expecting adulthood to be a steady, stable platform, what if we embraced it as a flexible, ever-changing experience?

Life will throw curveballs. That’s not a possibility, it’s a certainty. And when we expect adulthood to be a constant, those curveballs feel more destabilizing. But if we anticipate change and unpredictability as part of the process, we’re better prepared to meet it with adaptability.

Adulthood as Weather Gear, Not a Perfect Forecast

One way I’ve started thinking about adulthood is like gearing up for unpredictable weather. If you know a storm might hit, you don’t expect sunshine every day. You bring a jacket. You prepare to shift.

That preparation, that flexibility, isn’t a sign you’re failing at adulthood. It’s a sign you’re doing it well.

The Problem with the “Arrival” Mentality

When we hold the belief that adulthood means having it all figured out, any disruption, loss, trauma, unexpected change, feels like failure. But if we see adulthood as ongoing growth, those same disruptions become opportunities to evolve.

We can choose how we respond. We can reach for connection, community, and support instead of retreating into isolation or shame.

Why We Still Need a Village

Children thrive with a secure base to launch from, a dependable springboard for curiosity and growth. But somehow, we lose that idea in adulthood. We assume we shouldn't need help anymore.

Here’s the truth: adults still need villages. We still need people we trust. We still need to be reminded that it’s okay not to have it all together.

Your needs don’t make you broken. They make you human.

The Brain Can Change, So Can We

Neuroscience backs this up. Our brains are remarkably adaptable. Just like learning to write with your non-dominant hand, change might feel awkward at first, but over time, it becomes more natural. With practice and support, we rewire how we think, relate, and show up.

Let Go of the Comparison Trap

In a world of curated lives and filtered realities, it’s easy to fall into comparison. Someone else’s Instagram feed can make it seem like they’ve “made it,” while you feel like you’re barely holding it together.

But that’s not real life. Real life is messy. Real life is in progress.

The more we embrace that, the more resilient we become when life gets hard.

Redefining Adulthood

So what if adulthood isn’t about perfection, stability, or having it all figured out?

What if it’s about:

• Evolving through experience

• Staying curious and open

• Reaching for connection when things are hard

• Allowing ourselves to be works in progress

• Holding space for our inner child to keep playing

• Redefining how we ask for and receive help

That kind of adulthood sounds a lot more human. And a lot more sustainable.