Moving Beyond Either/Or Thinking
So often, we get caught in either/or thinking—a rigid, polarizing mindset that leaves us feeling stuck. Our brains naturally try to categorize things as black or white, right or wrong, good or bad. But life is rarely that simple. Shifting to a both/and perspective opens up space for curiosity, flexibility, and emotional regulation.
Why Both/And Thinking Supports the Brain
When we embrace both/and thinking, we bring in context and perspective, which helps the brain organize information and reduce stress responses. This is especially important for those with a history of trauma, where the nervous system may perceive situations as more threatening than they truly are. By recognizing multiple truths at once, we engage parts of the brain that allow us to respond rather than react.
Examples of Both/And Thinking
A situation can be difficult and still offer growth.
Our feelings can be valid, and we may still have options.
Someone’s actions can be hurtful, and we can choose how to respond.
Holding both realities at once minimizes threat perception, helping us move through challenges with greater self-awareness and resilience.
A Simple Language Shift
Even small changes in language, like replacing but with and, can shift our mindset. Instead of saying, “I’m struggling, but I’ll get through it,” try “I’m struggling, and I’m capable of getting through it.” This subtle reframe creates more openness and possibility.
Expanding Your Perspective
Bringing both/and thinking into daily life helps us stay grounded, reduce stress, and approach situations with a broader, more adaptive mindset. Try it & see what shifts for you!