What Is Parts Work and How Will It Help?

Parts work, also known as IFS (Internal Family Systems), is something we use to help individuals get a better understanding of how they function; in themselves, in their relationships, and in the world.

This approach is all about exploring the different parts of you that show up throughout your day, especially the ones that are trying to keep you safe (even if it's not always working so well anymore). When you start recognizing these parts and how they interact, you can begin to unblend from them and reconnect with your more grounded, authentic self.

The Core Self: That Deep, Authentic You

At the center of it all is your Core Self. This is the part of you that feels like you, the calm, connected, compassionate, creative, courageous, and clear version of yourself.

When you're in that state of flow or when you have a moment of, “Oh, there I am,” that’s likely your Core Self showing up. It’s the regulated, steady version of you that can approach everything else inside with curiosity and compassion.

Meet the Other Parts: Exiles, Managers, and Firefighters

In parts work, we look at three main kinds of parts that form around the Core Self:

Exiles, Managers, and Firefighters.

Exiles: The Parts Carrying Wounds

Exiles are the parts of us that have been hurt, wounded, or traumatized in some way. They’re often young parts that carry pain or unmet needs, and because of that, they tend to get pushed away or hidden by our system.

They’re usually protected, really intensely, by other parts that are trying to keep us from feeling that pain again.

Managers: The Proactive Protectors

Managers are the parts that try to get ahead of the pain. They’re proactive, organized, and controlling in a way that says, “If we can just stay ahead of the danger, we’ll be okay.”

These might be the parts of you that show up as:

• The workaholic

• The overfunctioner

• The perfectionist or people-pleaser

• The fiercely independent one

They often operate on core beliefs like, “If I just keep doing this, I’ll stay safe. I’ll be good enough. I won’t get hurt again.”

Firefighters: The Reactive Protectors

Firefighters are the more reactive parts. When pain breaks through, maybe something triggers an exile, these parts jump in fast and loud to shut it down.

They might say:

• “Go drink. Go numb out. Just don’t feel this.”

• “Let’s rage. Let’s get really big and loud, and maybe then we’ll be safe.”

These parts often use intensity or distraction to manage what feels overwhelming. Their methods might not be sustainable, but they’ve been doing their job for a long time, and often doing it really well, even if it’s starting to backfire.

How Does Parts Work Help?

When you can identify your protectors, whether they’re managers or firefighters, and get to know the exiles they’re trying so hard to protect, everything starts to shift.

You begin to notice:

• What triggers certain parts

• When you’re blended (when a part has taken over your feelings or actions)

• How to unblend and come back into regulation

• What each part is trying to do for you (even if it’s outdated)

And instead of trying to fight or silence these parts, you start approaching them with compassion and curiosity, two things that help create real change.

These parts have been doing their jobs for a long time, and there are good reasons they operate the way they do. When we bring in compassion, we start to understand those reasons. When we bring in curiosity, we begin to learn what those parts actually need.

Why It Matters

As we work with our parts, we also start to shift the old core beliefs that shaped them.

That allows us to:

• Better regulate our nervous system

• Respond to triggers in new, more adaptive ways

• Meet our needs with more clarity and intention

• Show up in relationships differently—more present, more connected, more whole

That’s a glimpse into what parts work is and how it can help. It’s a process, and it takes time, but it really is such powerful work.

Healing Through Compassionate Curiosity

The process of healing in parts work begins with approaching each part, not with shame or judgment, but with compassion and curiosity. These parts have been doing their jobs for a long time, often very effectively, even if their methods are outdated or no longer serving you.

With support, you can begin to shift these internal roles, update your core beliefs, and bring more harmony to your internal system. The result? Greater emotional regulation, healthier relationships, and a deeper connection to yourself.

Final Thoughts on IFS and Parts Work

Parts work offers a framework to help you move from self-criticism to self-understanding. When you learn to work with your parts instead of against them, you open up new possibilities for healing, growth, and transformation.